21-11-17 
The day dawned slower than usual as the streets were still punctuated with the sound of the words “Asante Sana.” (Which according to Google translate means Thank you very much but Mugabe had given the phrase a totally different life)
Souls on the streets were still restless from hearing “Goodnight” instead of “I resign.” A 93 year old man with ashy hands that were shaking from just the weight of a paper had just dared to pull off the greatest comeback ever seen. Greater than the Undertaker vs Andre the giant at Wrestlemania 7, greater than Barcelona vs Paris St Germain in the 2016-17 Champions League season. It was as if we were witnessing a real life Frank Underwood, the ultimate mastermind.
Mugabe’s political party had given him a deadline of midday on the previous day. It was resign or get impeached but the old man didn’t seem fazed. He had called a cabinet meeting, he was trying to dissolve parliament, ministers were trying to bribe members of parliament not to vote, he wasn’t going down without a fight. As usual the sources were doing their job, filling us more with confusion rather than information.
I was quietly debating whether or not to delete some of my posts;
“MUGABE’S NO LONGER THE PRESIDENT OF ZIMBABWE”
“WE FINALLY HAVE A FORMER PRESIDENT!”
I had said a lot of premature shit to be honest and I was seeing that, “undermining the office of the president charge coming soon.” Yet I comforted myself with the fact that half of the Zimbabwean’s on Twitter would have to be arrested too. But one could always be unlucky especially in Zimbabwe. Just ask Martha O’Donovan.
So as what had become the norm we were promised an announcement but I wasn’t holding my breath. “Asante sana,” had given me enough chest pains. But the wait began again, we had a cautious optimism that the impeachment would go through yet hopes easily faded when it came to this government. Because I was sure if 15 billion could go missing in front of 14 million people, surely impeachment could be escaped.
Though the people weren’t letting down, a picnic was held in Africa Unity Square opposite parliament with people vowing to stay there until we had a former president. University of Zimbabwe students were demonstrating also, they announced they wouldn’t write exams until Mugabe left office and their vice chancellor was sacked. They also demanded that First Lady Dr Amai Grace Mugabe’s doctorate be revoked. Apparently she got it for coming up with the conclusion that a lot of orphans have parents that have passed away. I don’t see why people criticize that, it must’ve taken every ounce of her intelligence to figure it out.
16:45
I suddenly received a ton of texts claiming he had resigned. I was like NO! I didn’t believe it. I immediately tuned in to the BBC and there it was “Mugabe resigns!” I switched to a couple more channels just to really make sure it was truly happening. 37 years, 37 freaking years of rule had come to an end. As soon as I finally took in the news I heard the city erupt. The scenes were unimaginable, less than 2 weeks ago a man who has roads named after him in almost every city had just had the airport renamed in his honour but now he was unemployed.
“Iwe neni tine basa,” (You and I have a job) but his job had just ended. The celebrations had just begun. I don’t think even the 4 days of samba on the streets of Rio De Janeiro during the carnival could match the atmosphere that enveloped Zimbabwe. Traffic came to a near standstill and there was just happiness as far as the eye could see. Young infants had no idea what was going on but they were out there in the streets with placards. I can just imagine what would happen if we won the world cup, as a country we would probably just die from celebrating.
The sound of drums filled the streets right into the depths of the night. CNN kept showing the crowd singing, “Hatitongwe nehure.” If only someone had told what the song meant.
Image source; Google images
People believed but they were never ready for the actual moment. The emotions couldn’t have been put in words. But even if they were tears of joy, I told myself I wouldn’t cry because of Mugabe.
Some politicians had welcome words but others uttered utter nonsense. I’m talking about Theresa May. The people who gave Mugabe knighthood and imposed sanctions on a whole nation for the actions of one man and stood bye while elections were conducted like a game of monopoly were suddenly the oldest friend of Zimbabwe. I must not know what friendship means or maybe BREXIT has the British prime minister with her countries confused.
Well the movie plans have already been put into action. Hollywood and Twitter are nothing if not efficient. It’s still debatable though as to who will play Robert Mugabe better between Don Cheadle and Forest Whitaker. I’m already writing my own alternate script titled; 37 years a slave starring Lupita Nyong’o. Living in Zimbabwe has been a near death experience for a long time, I guess it’s time we flourished.
People are saying it’s just a retweet but I know Don Cheadle is relishing the chance to take this role. Probably already practicing his accent and the Mugabe walk.
Well with movies already in the pipeline what do you think Gucci Grace’s (First Lady Dr Grace Mugabe) reality series will be called?
-The Real Housewives of Dictators
-Rob & Grace
-Keeping Up With The Mugabe’s
Image source; @comradefatso (The people’s washing line)
It’s the dawn of a new Zimbabwe but their always doubters and mood killers. The so called political analysts were out in full force fueled but not very well thought out conclusions;
“Mugabe might be gone but Zanu PF is still in power so it’s nothing different.”
“What then now that Mugabe’s gone?”
“Mnangagwa is just another dictator!”
I say to these people please give us our chance to celebrate. We’ve had AIDS for so long we welcome the chance to have a different STI or even CANCER. Because at least in some cases CANCER can be treated. Zanu PF might still be there but this change in still leadership brings hope for a better tomorrow.
Let a Zimbabwean dare to dream.
#Zimbabwe #MugabeGone #NewEra
-The End
Half Thoughts 