Chronicles Of Our Elders And Their Sex Lifes

Presidential red carpet
Somewhere in Zimbabwe

Growing up sex was always a taboo subject (Well it still is, sort of, but not quite, it’s complicated). Whether it was sex in conversation, on the tv or in music, it just wasn’t welcome. I grew up in the era of cellphones (We had no idea smartphones would come and change everything or social media). The most entertaining thing you could do was play snake on a Nokia 3310, music & the internet weren’t even things we dreamt of accessing on a phone. So the subject of sex was limited to the 30 minutes to an hour of Action Against AIDS class we did once a week.

The whole class would giggle and burst into laughter everytime the teacher said penis or vagina and the true essence of the class would be lost on most. So sex was always an obscure subject until the first sex scandal I ever knew about. Live on prime time national news we watched the sextape of Roman Catholic Archbishop Pius Ncube. They said if you have kids in the room you might need to tell them to get out for the following report. But it was the news so I stayed and next thing sex was on tv. The kind of thing you would expect from TMZ and not the national broadcaster.

Yet this was the time of Robert Mugabe’s rule and well if you went against Mugabe, he would come for you (Even if you were a Roman Catholic Archbishop). The next day at school that was all everyone could talk about. One kid said his dad immediately switched off the tv, another kid said everyone just went silent in the room and another kid had no idea what we were talking about because they had DSTV (Digital Satellite Television – Multichoice). I immediately asked him if I could come over to his house after school. Anyways sex and politics have always made the news.

Lately the Norton MP, Temba Mliswa has had his sexual escapades making news in almost every paper and news site. And at first I said let people be, what people prefer done to them during sex and by who is their business as long as it’s consensual. Well then they were accusations he’s an extortionist, he knows about the President’s attempted assassination and well other things. Yet still it was his sex life that took centre stage.

After that it was the Vice President, Kembo Mohadi who was making the news and still is. Several audio clips were leaked of his conversations that revealed his sexual relations with various married women, subordinates and a girl he had supposedly awarded a scholarship. The Vice President is 71 and he has the sex life of a university student. It could be just his sex life but then when you look at it beyond the surface it doesn’t look so good. Accusations of abuse of office and coercion have been thrown around. After all in a country like Zimbabwe can you really say no to the Vice President?

As always no one notion can be agreed on. Others are of the thought that the women chose to be with him, for the money and other benefits. Yet it all seems like someone is pulling strings in the background but who knows. And rather unfortunate the news agency breaking this story identified the wrong woman as having an affair with the VP. And they did this twice. While voices have started calling for Kembo Mohadi to resign or be fired, he has hit back or rather the guy with the job or writing things for him has hit back.

Kembo Mohadi’s statement

If contradiction was a statement then it would be this. Firstly he said the allegations are false, meaning it’s a lie and this was quickly followed up with him saying his privacy was violated which means the allegations are true. The statement further goes on the defensive as it claims that his phone was hacked which means the leaked audios are true but then it quickly says his voice was cloned which means the recordings are false. A mess. This is called the deny deny deny and deny again approach, every guy who has been caught cheating knows it very well.

Also did I tell you a judge’s nudes are floating around? Yes apparently a High Court judge and his lover, who happens to be a subordinate got into a fight after the lover discovered he was sleeping with another and so she leaked his news. The news has been messy. And we all know our elders have sex lives but no one likes to hear about it.

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