A sudden moment of lucid thought.

As if I’ve regained consciousness from a deep sleep or even a coma.

But instead of being bed ridden I had been drifting around on auto pilot.

Making decisions from other people’s influence 

Moving with tide

Further and further away from the beaches of the ocean

Only just managing to stay afloat

As I struggle with my feet to find by chance a rock to step on

To find some calm and collect my thoughts.

Yet I’m only finding myself surrounded by the unknown

And with every breath I take I ingest an intoxicant

That has a piece of me fading away as I exhale.

When something finally brushes my leg.

I grab it

It’s the end of a rope

A rope I realize is anchored to be bottom.

I pull on it and dive in to were it leads.

Even when something seems like suicide curiosity gets the better of me.

I finally reached the bottom to find caught in between rocks

A dead end I had forced myself to believe was hopeful.

I try to get back to the waters surface but I’m all out of oxygen 

Only then do I finally stand up straight and see the water only reaching my knees.

And I realize I’ve been drowning in my own thoughts and fears.

The fear of letting the world consume my identity 

And have me as just another face in the crowd.




  1. Sweta Ojha · July 22, 2016

    Beautifully written. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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