So here we are exactly 421 days later. I’ve been keeping count of every single day (Well let’s face if you were me you’d probably count too).
The accident still haunts me in my dreams but I actually don’t mind it as I used too. Don’t let the picture fool you things are still far from done but I try not let temporary setbacks make me lose view of the bigger picture (whatever the “bigger picture” may be).
It hasn’t been coffee and roses or even a typical African house without cockroaches it’s been a journey and a half. Well it’s actually been more of roller coaster ride. They’re the momentary triumphs, the spates of anger and times of sadness but never a dull moment really. Those who tell you it all gets easier are liars, same goes with those that tell you you get stronger. In fact all cliches are to be ignored, their absolute rubbish. If you’re going through something trying and you’re quoted a cliche by someone, simply block that person give them some time to reflect on the stupidity of their actions. In true essence a hardship only reveals who you are within and triumph only comes when you accept things as they are not all this other bullshit. Almost everyday I find myself reflecting on what went wrong? What could I have done differently? But I come to the realization that, that shit doesn’t matter because what’s done is done. You can’t turn back the hands of time.
I used to think there was nothing worse than death but life proved me wrong. They’re things far far worse on earth than in the after life. Imagine being alone in the lounge and it’s kick off time. You’re online on your Twitter so you see the football tweets flood the timeline, the Tv remote being a mere metre away from you yet you can’t reach it (The intelligence departments could adapt this as a torture technique). Anyways my life has literally come to being indoors or being at therapy. I don’t really mind though I’ve always hated people. So I now just mainly indulge in writing, catching a good movie and squeezing in a few reads (Mainly blogs I take ages to finish a book). At times writing feels talking to yourself on paper, which is actually good because it’s not as awkward when someone catches you. It actually amazed me that people think I’m good writer, I mean almost anyone can put words on paper.
Well I accept my compliments with the utmost humility that way they keep on coming. Though I’d rather be offered money than compliments (I know countless bloggers feel the same way lol). But I feel I’m now mostly doing things because it’s what’s there, I really couldn’t care less. Getting drunk is currently the epitome of all things I want to achieve in my life right now. Being sober was never tailored for me plus I’m in dire need of an escape. Maybe I should invest my energy in a girlfriend but that would involve emotions and feelings which hardly leads to anything good. Well in life their a few things you can count on. You can count on the religious to tell you God has a plan for your life, the alcoholics to tell you alcohol is the answer and you can undoubtedly count on bacon to go with everything. I’m sorry if you don’t eat pork I’m yet to come up with the Halal version of that statement.